(answering prompt 4)

    I have never been good at sports. Of course, this is where people would normally say, "not for a lack of trying"; however, I think my failure in this aspect of my life can be largely attributed to a lack of trying. You may be asking yourself how I can call myself a hardworker (shown on my entry page) if I am admitting to not trying at something. The answer is I do try hard, but on things that seem important to me and where I have some shot (even if it's a remote one) at being good. For some needed context here, I have an older sister. So my general journey with sports has been tagging along to things my sister wanted to do. In addition, I would say I'm not naturally athletic.

          Now, how is any of this even remotely connected to my fourth year Year in Review? Well, this year I picked up a new sport- Badminton. In my head, Badminton is a leisurely sport you play outdoors with your family on summer days. In my German Sports Group, however, this is not what Badminton looks like. Badminton is intense, indoor, and played mainly with strangers. So, when I started my Badminton journey this year, I was given a wake-up call. If I was going to continue with this activity, I was going to have to try. But the thing about trying, is you open yourself up for failure. That's scary. Especially when the odds and historical precedent may be stacked against you. 

          Nevertheless, at this point I'd bought indoor gym shoes and had a conviction to make new friends. Thus, I persisted. And persisted in a way that I have never persisted in sports before. I practiced for hours. I asked groups of people I dindn’t know to play with me. I accepted the failures as learning experiences and tried to ward off any embarrasment or negative thoughts. I tried. And surprisingly, it paid off. Now I can't say I competed in a tournament and won or that I did anything with any defined success, but I am an okay player. Moreover, my newfound effort in sport resulted in a change in attitudes of the people around me.

          Part of the reason I didn't put in effort before was because if I didn't try, it would hurt less when people said I wasn't good. However, somewhere along the way, I think the opposite happened. People were frustrated and didn't want to play with me not because I was bad,  but because I wasn't trying.

          I have done a lot of scary things this year - move abroad to work in Germany, learn basic German (a notoriously difficult language), learn photography, meet new people (a part of groups steroetypically intimidating), traveled to Tanzania and Kenya, and organized a technical trip to Africa for 8 people. Of course, all of these have required copious amounts of effort; but, they also required me putting myself out there in a way I'm not super comfortable with (like with Badminton). I had to accept that I might fail, that people might not like me, that I might feel silly, and that my feelings might get hurt, in order to gain a wealth of knowledge and confidence I didn't have this time last year. 

          I've grown this year by becoming more confident, learning new skills, and meeting new people. I am also lucky enough to have a support network who I can talk to and laugh with when scary things do turn out embarrassing (like accidentally ordering a whole cheesecake at a German bakery instead of a single slice). These people I can count on to help me meet my goal of continuing to do one intimidating thing a month and will hold me accountable to keeping the confidence and growth I've gained thus far.